Ozark Mountain Madness

We took a trip to Lake of the Ozarks over Labor Day weekend with 5 of my 11 closest girlfriends from high school and their significant others.  In high school my friends and I lovingly referred to ourselves as the "dirty dozen."  'Cuz we awesome.  The whole dirty dozen was invited on this second annual trip, but not everyone could make it.  Sad face. 

After screaming and jumping up and down in excitement upon arrival Friday night, we went to bed and woke up Saturday raring to go.  We had reserved a boat to use all day but scrapped that idea due to the imminent threat of rain.  So what would a group of 12 adults do when their boat plans get canceled?  Go play Lazer Tag?  Yes, my first thought too, but surprisingly that's not what happened. The overwhelming response to this dilemma was to make a game out of 12 dice and a paper plate. 

Rules of Golden Die!

Yep! You read that right! Look out Parker Brothers, team of geniuses here! This is 2012,  we have indoor plumbing and plenty of other things to do to occupy our time (lazer tag), but we brought it back to basics.  12 dice and a paper plate.  "And the game shall be called Golden Die!" *fist shake* (cue ray of sunshine).



Don't get me wrong, it was fun, maybe too fun.  We were cozy in our condo with plenty to drink, which is always a recipe for disaster an awesome time!  Included in the beverages of choice were these delicious mango margaritas. Try them. Now.  We were drinking away, playing Golden Die and the next thing we knew 4? 5? hours had passed.  Outside it misted/rained/"what the hell was that?", while inside we were cheering! and screaming!, slamming the table and filling the condo with raucous, crazy person laughter.  It was 4:30 in the afternoon.

This 17th century "gaming" was followed by a 3 hour conversation in which we debated the meaning of so many innappropriate words that we basically rewrote the Urban Dictionary.  Some of this conversation may have taken place on the balcony and we may have gotten yelled at by a condo neighbor who may have shouted, "This is a family place!"  We are a family, lady!

It's a little messy after that.  I recall playing Connect 4 at a quaint table for two, people playing washers in the loft, maybe making a rap video, going to the sandy beach, prankster depantsing and burnt turkey bacon.  Perhaps inspired by the Olympics, one of our friends got in the water and tried to convince us he could swim across our cove of the lake (whether or not he could have actually done it is still up for debate.) Jeah!

It was a long night, so waking up Sunday was fun stuff!  We got our acts together and were able to rent the boat for the day.  We booked it to glory cove AKA Party Cove.  Have you heard of this place?  It's the spot where people lash their boats together, float in the water, get topless and drink.  We felt a little awkard since there weren't people playing with dice and a paper plate, but we made it through.  There weren't as many boats and crazies this year, but it wasn't a total waste:


Shirt thong?




oh! hey there!


After spending the day ON A BOAT! we decided to head back to the condo.  Some of us went shopping and some stayed behind, but we all agreed to meet up for dinner later.  Those who stayed behind got sucked into a documentary about MERMAIDS!  Legendary creatures of the sea.  It was riveting stuff.  Reluctantly, we pried our eyes from the screen and met for dinner. 

Earlier we all agreed NOT to go to the same Mexican restaurant we went to last year, because it was gross.  So we looked up other Mexican restaurants, found the one with the highest Yelp rating and decided to meet there.  No problemo.  As we drove up, we realized we were at the SAME damn MEXICAN RESTAURANT as last year, ya'll.  Ay Caramba! No turning back now!  We ordered our food from a questionable waiter and waited with dread to receive our meal.  Things were going somewhat fine until Ryan chomped down on something mysterious in his taco salad.  Something round, dark, hard and small.  Upon examination, a waitress informed us it was a stem from a poblano pepper.  Hmmm, I didn't know stems were round balls? This lady had been watching too many mermaid documentaries--"Just like mermaids, round, ball stems are extremely rare! Very elusive!  You're lucky to have found one!"  After much discussion amongst ourselves as to what the "mystery meat" could be (we got pretty creative), we paid our bill, including the $0.30 charge for "misc. food", not. even. kidding.  We decided it was time to get out of there and never go back again.  Like, for real this time.

No bueno.

What did we do the rest of the night?  Thankfully the same damn documentary on MERMAIDS had just started again!  THEY'RE REAL!  SERIOUSLY!  THEY'RE OUT THERE! Unfortunately, there was no evil octopus or a pineapple under the sea in this film.  Now, being Ariel's hugest fan, I get the fascination.  It was intriguing, but I seriously did not think everyone would be so hooked on it: 



Two grown men watching a show about mermaids. 




 Lots of debate on this one, folks.  A mixed bag of believers and non-believers in our group. 

A long, crazy weekend at the lake but we survived and decided we're all gettin' old. We're not super young twentysomethings anymore. 

No mermaids were spotted at the lake.  It's kind of a touchy subject with all of us. 

Do you believe in mermaids?