twentysomething: Tootie Fruity

So, according to Ryan, we made some sort of "blood oath" about a year ago when I talked about starting a blog. Apparently, this alleged agreement specified that if I started a blog, then Ryan could get a new tattoo on his chest. And not just any tattoo, but this gem:

You do not even have to explain to me how this tattoo and a blog are completely unrelated. I get it. I get it so much, that I'm absolutely certain I never agreed to Ryan getting a steamy, puffy, bubbly "fart" tattooed on his chest.

In the past he shared with me his overwhelming urge to get a "fart" tattoo in puffy, girly (wth?) letters. I told him a tattoo like that could be legitimate grounds for divorce. I remember conversations about the tattoo, but I did not agree to this tattoo as a condition of starting an ~~online diary~~ blog!

So last night our conversation went like this:

Me *glowing with optimism*: Hey! I found a blog I started last year and I'm going to try posting again!*cheerleader move*

Ryan: What?! You started a blog? *slow smile spreads across his face aka foreshadowing*

Me: Yeah! Didn't I tell you when I made my first post?

Ryan: No, you didn't. Do you remember our deal?

Me *huge sense of dread in my gut*: Um, no?

This is when Ryan explained our so-called pact and referenced the "fart" picture above. It was drawn by a friend over a year ago and has been lovingly pinned to our bulletin board ever since (classy).

Me *panicked*: I didn't agree to that!

*wild gesturing*

Ryan: *huge sense of dread in his gut*: (fart escapes pants)

Me*sideeye at Ryan*: Shit.

So, two things:

#1-subconciously I must have remembered a conversation about the tattoo and blogging (don't tell Ryan), because I didn't choose to tell him about my first blog post.

#2-There is no way in hell I want Ryan to get that tattoo.

It would be equivalent to seeing this every night: